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Arg it's only Thursday and I'm already dead tired. And I'm aggravated, I'm up by like 3.5 pounds - - I've been doing good and eating pretty clean ( I did have a bliss chocolate the other day). But I'm staying optimistic, I'm going to continue on my journey and not get discouraged. Tonight is gym night, my leg muscles are a bit sore so I'll tone back my workout a bit so I don't injure myself. Then its laundry laundry laundry! I will get everything caught up and put away, I don't always get it from being folded to put away. That is my goal for August, keep up the basic house chores.
I actually got my butt into the gym last night. I did 45 minutes on the treadmill, I debated between cardio and strength training. Decision was cardio since its been about 9 weeks since I've worked out regularly - I don't want to over due it and hurt myself. I'm serious about dropping some weight here and to do so I need to do slow and progressive. Tonight after work I had planned on mowing the lawn (push mower, 300' deep lot) but I think the thunderstorms may having me heading to the gym again instead *sigh*.
On side note, I need to make some good playlists for my Ipod. I don't have any, and I really need a good workout playlist - to get me going. Last night my Ipod would play a semi fast song then go into three slow songs which really threw off my pace.
I hate IndyMac. I just spent 55 minutes of my life going back and forth with them, basically I'm behind on my mortgage (yes I know I'm sending them money, whatever money I can) but since my budget is just too severe they can't help me. They will not or can not do anything at all (even just stop the late fees like I asked). What the hell kind of sense does that make!!?? Here I am sending them what I can when I can but they can't help me!! Its not like I'm not sending any money for Pete's sake!!! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR they make me so angry. When I ask to speak with a manager or someone higher up they (Vick Rep# 50M) just tells me they'll tell you the same thing, I need to let this call go - well Vick I didn't ask you what they would say I asked to speak with someone higher then you- this goes back and forth for like 5 minutes, then he puts me on hold for a minute and then comes back and says "he says there is nothing we can do for you" So I ask for "his" name and rep #, Vick won't say and then hangs up on me. Call back IndyMac customer service and get a lovely recording that they can not take my call because of call volume - well you know what with Assholes Like Vick I wonder why their call volume is so high!
I need to kick my self into action! I need to lose weight, major. I have gained back so much weight in the past year it is ridiculous. My all time low was like 180 - size 12 and I was still losing - then they found endometriosis and I had to have surgery and medication. Both of which sidelined my exercise plan ( i was doing really well going to the gym) and I'll admit I let it get to me and sabotaged my own eating. Now I'm really struggling to get back on track.....I need to figure out why. I am so much happier with less weight on my body so why do I continue to sabotage myself?
I've updated my blog with a list of some of the blogs I read, I found most of them while searching for support in budgeting. Not my strongest point, budgeting, but I am a work in progress and some of these blogs have really helped me out
I really need to get some sleep, I have a long day ahead of me tomorrow - in early and training session all day - then doctor's appointment at 6pm for this stupid sty that I've had for um... 4 months now, again procrastination bites me in the ass.
My husband has been gone away at training for 68 days now; which really in the big scheme of things is not so horrible. I mean he is still stateside, not in the middle east anywhere where he is in danger, so why am I so blah? I think its because I'm left here, in limbo. A little history, my husband and I met online (hence the Blog name, his gamer tag & mine - and no really it's pronounced NEEVE). To make a long story short we started talking online (in game, instant messenger & email) then on the phone every night. I had just ended a pretty serious relationship and I was cautious but something just felt right so one night I asked him to come out for my birthday; he did and stayed, here for me. Best spontaneous thing I've ever done.
He's from the east coast, he had just gotten out of the Navy when we met and was actually toying with the idea of joining the Army but he didn't because of me. He had been married before and it really didn't survive military life (other reasons as well of course but the separation didn't help). So he sacrificed his dream to try living mine. Needless to say he was happy but not really - he really missed military life but for some reason I don't think he really believed me when I said I just wanted him to be happy - whatever he chose to do as a career, I was willing to give it a try - I mean how can say I don't like it , if I've never tried?
Fast forward five years from him first flying out here , many job interviews, college etc and he still just wasn't happy. We were watching TV one night and out of the blue I told him one night "My only request is that if you chose to enlist again, is that we get married, I will not accept information about you second hand." He said OK.
November 2006 I got a ring and a proposal, December 2006 we told our families we were engaged and then I procrastinated about planning....I really don't know why but I did. Then suddenly everything felt right and I planned our wedding in two weeks (there's that crazy spontaneity again) we were married September 2nd 2007. January 2008 he decided to start gathering information about joining the military again; not sure if he would go Navy again, Coast Guard or Army - I told him whatever he wanted - we would make it work.
February 2008 (spontaneity strikes again) he chose Army, delayed entry since he was in the middle of college semester and May 20th I officially became an Army Wife. I know we will be moving - where only Uncle Sam knows, when again Uncle Sam knows and I think that is why I'm blah.
I do like to plan to a certain degree and other things I just fly by the seat of my pants. The planning part comes in on things like bills, budget, home. I'm a nester. I like having a home and making it my own - I'm interested to see what that is like in the Army. I also think I'm partially scared this will be the first time I've ever moved out of state; as much as this excites me it also makes me nervous - how will I really do without my family around me? I hope I do better then the doubts in my head, I hope I succeed in being a decent Army wife but all I can do is believe in myself and my husband; there I have no problems. I know my husband has my back and I have his so I just need to stop thinking and start doing - he is my home.
Nie
So I've been kicking around the idea of blogging for a few years now; yea I know I'm a procrastinator. I've never really thought I'd have much for the blogging world, you know what would I contribute? Tonight though, for some reason, I've decided what the hell I should do it - make it an electronic diary - one that maybe will talk back (reader comments, if I get any ;). Here I am blogging world!
*hugs*
Nie
