68 days and counting

My husband has been gone away at training for 68 days now; which really in the big scheme of things is not so horrible. I mean he is still stateside, not in the middle east anywhere where he is in danger, so why am I so blah? I think its because I'm left here, in limbo. A little history, my husband and I met online (hence the Blog name, his gamer tag & mine - and no really it's pronounced NEEVE). To make a long story short we started talking online (in game, instant messenger & email) then on the phone every night. I had just ended a pretty serious relationship and I was cautious but something just felt right so one night I asked him to come out for my birthday; he did and stayed, here for me. Best spontaneous thing I've ever done.

He's from the east coast, he had just gotten out of the Navy when we met and was actually toying with the idea of joining the Army but he didn't because of me. He had been married before and it really didn't survive military life (other reasons as well of course but the separation didn't help). So he sacrificed his dream to try living mine. Needless to say he was happy but not really - he really missed military life but for some reason I don't think he really believed me when I said I just wanted him to be happy - whatever he chose to do as a career, I was willing to give it a try - I mean how can say I don't like it , if I've never tried?

Fast forward five years from him first flying out here , many job interviews, college etc and he still just wasn't happy. We were watching TV one night and out of the blue I told him one night "My only request is that if you chose to enlist again, is that we get married, I will not accept information about you second hand." He said OK.

November 2006 I got a ring and a proposal, December 2006 we told our families we were engaged and then I procrastinated about planning....I really don't know why but I did. Then suddenly everything felt right and I planned our wedding in two weeks (there's that crazy spontaneity again) we were married September 2nd 2007. January 2008 he decided to start gathering information about joining the military again; not sure if he would go Navy again, Coast Guard or Army - I told him whatever he wanted - we would make it work.

February 2008 (spontaneity strikes again) he chose Army, delayed entry since he was in the middle of college semester and May 20th I officially became an Army Wife. I know we will be moving - where only Uncle Sam knows, when again Uncle Sam knows and I think that is why I'm blah.

I do like to plan to a certain degree and other things I just fly by the seat of my pants. The planning part comes in on things like bills, budget, home. I'm a nester. I like having a home and making it my own - I'm interested to see what that is like in the Army. I also think I'm partially scared this will be the first time I've ever moved out of state; as much as this excites me it also makes me nervous - how will I really do without my family around me? I hope I do better then the doubts in my head, I hope I succeed in being a decent Army wife but all I can do is believe in myself and my husband; there I have no problems. I know my husband has my back and I have his so I just need to stop thinking and start doing - he is my home.

Nie