Motivation

I need to kick my self into action! I need to lose weight, major. I have gained back so much weight in the past year it is ridiculous. My all time low was like 180 - size 12 and I was still losing - then they found endometriosis and I had to have surgery and medication. Both of which sidelined my exercise plan ( i was doing really well going to the gym) and I'll admit I let it get to me and sabotaged my own eating. Now I'm really struggling to get back on track.....I need to figure out why. I am so much happier with less weight on my body so why do I continue to sabotage myself?